


Sober Up

by shittystorywriter



Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, M/M, Weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 22:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11278065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittystorywriter/pseuds/shittystorywriter
Summary: Stan is a coward when sober.





	Sober Up

Stan leaned on the side of Kenny's bed, his eyes red and glossed over. Spaced out, he stared intensely at the wall. Kenny took a puff of the joint and handed it over to him. Stan took another puff and sighed.

"You OK dude?" Kenny asked. This was neither of their first times smoking, but it was the first time they'd gotten high together.

Stan slowly turned his head to face Kenny and smiled. "Yup."

Kenny laughed as he took another puff. "You're funny."

Stan started laughing too. "Your wall is pretty funny to look at. There's a crack in it. Hehehe, crack! Heheheh."

"Buttcrack!" Kenny chuckled.

"I see a woman's buttcrack over there.." Stan pointed at his bikini poster, giggling.

"Ohhh shiiiit. She's hot in't she?" Kenny proudly admired his poster, passing the joint to Stan again.

Stan inhaled once more and let the smoke roll out of his mouth. "Yeeah, maaaybe, if I were into chicks," he replied with a slur.

"DU-HUDE, seriously?" Kenny choked, looking at Stan in surprise.

"What?" Stan looked around the room in search of a dragon, which he naturally assumed was the cause of Kenny's surprised reaction. But there was no dragon anywhere to be seen.

Kenny's brain was a little more down to Earth at the moment, still capable of holding a semi-coherent line of thought. "Are you really gay?" he questioned.

"No, when did I say that?" Stan chuckled. "You're crazy, man."

"Uh, just a second ago? You dun find my poster chicks hot, right?" Kenny stared at him suspiciously.

"Meh," Stan shrugged.

"So, you attracted to any guys?" Kenny probed, laying down on the dirty carpet and staring at the ceiling.

"I dunno," Stan laughed.

"Any girls, then?" Kenny continued.

"I dunno," Stan laughed as he took another puff. "I really want a pet turtle, that'd be awesome."

"OK, I think you've had enough. That's enough puffy the dragon for you." Kenny snatched the joint from him and put it out.

Stan just continued giggling at nothing. Kenny started to laugh as well just from watching him. Stan was pretty amusing when he was high.

"Sooo, buddy, what do you think of Kyle? Do you like Kyle?" he grinned. Kenny thought it was obvious, but he wanted to see what Stan would say in his altered state.

"Maybe," Stan immediately answered.

"Like, as _more_ than a friend?" he continued with his interrogation.

Stan just sighed and fell over, laying down on the carpet. He covered his head with his arms. "Kyle. What can I say? I like, uh, like I, uh, love him."

Kenny burst into laughter. "Yeah, okay, I think I get what you mean."

Stan rolled over and groaned. "Buuut, you _don't_ get it. I _love_ Kyle."

Kenny just continued laughing at Stan's stupid behavior and speech. "I know dude. I'm with you guys all the time. It's pretty obvious that you love Kyle."

Stan, for some reason, got very angry. "NO! You don't GET it, I..I..I.. _love_ Kyle. Like, I love him. You don't get it."

Kenny tried to calm down his laughter, but it was difficult when seeing Stan like this. "OK, so like, you're saying: you love Kyle, have I got that right?"

Stan rolled his eyes. "No! What I'm saaaaying, is, I _love_ him," he sniffled. Kenny looked up and saw a tear coming out of his eye.

"Oh my god dude, this is pathetic. Just go suck Kyle's dick already," Kenny laughed. But when he saw Stan crying with his head buried in his arms again, he suddenly felt a bit sorry for him.

"I don't wanna be...it's all the Japanese fault," Stan cried.

Kenny scooted over and patted him on the back. "Aw, it's OK buddy."

After Stan calmed down, they spent the next few hours eating potato chips and watching Youtube videos. Their highs were gradually wearing off, and Stan's mental state was beginning to return to normal. He looked up at the clock. "What time is it? 11 PM? I'd better head home." 

"Alright, dude." Kenny stood up and stretched, showing him to the door.

As he was leaving, Kenny patted Stan on the head. "Hey buddy, things will get better, I promise," he grinned. Stan looked confused as he waved goodbye and walked home. He got home and went straight to bed, trying (but failing) to remember what he'd told Kenny to make him say such a thing.

* * *

The next day, Kenny approached Kyle after school had just ended. "Hey Kyle!" he waved.

"Hey dude," Kyle responded. As they walk together towards their bus, Kenny decides to tell Kyle about Stan's behavior.

"I don't know how to deal with this, but I think Stan has something he wants to tell you, but is too afraid," he tries to explain.

Kyle sighed. "That he loves me, right?"

Kenny fake gasped. "Yeah, exactly, how'd you guess?"

Kyle just rolls his eyes. "He tells me _every_ time he's drunk."

Kenny just chuckles. "OK, so what did you think about it?"

Kyle simply shrugs. "He'll be all over me, like some kind of puppy whenever he's drunk, then when he's sober he pretends he doesn't remember any of it." He looks at the bus as they get closer to it. "I've given up trying to figure him out."

"That's funny, cuz last night we were smoking and he kinda implied that he's not interested in chicks, and then he kept saying he loves you. He seemed really upset about it," Kenny explained. "Just felt like I should tell you, but don't tell him I told you this."

Kyle frowned. "I guess I really should talk to him. Thanks, Kenny," he said before getting on the bus. He sat down in his usual seat next to Stan. "Hey," he smiled at Stan.

"Hey," Stan smiled back at him. Kyle took notice of some things he never paid attention to before: that his eyes looked heavy and he seemed a bit nervous, instantly diverting eye contact and looking out the window.

Well, here goes nothing.

"You wanna come over after school?" Kyle asked, trying to sound casual.

"Sure," Stan replied, and Kyle noticed the gulp he took as he said this. Maybe Kenny was right..maybe Stan really does have a crush on him, in more than just an intoxicated way.

Kyle developed his own crush after being the object of Stan's drunken affection so many times, hoping that one day he'd stop being a pussy and admit it while sober.

But unfortunately, his Romeo _was_ a giant wuss, petrified of admitting his feelings without the help of liquid courage. Which means Kyle will have to try something to coax the truth out of him.

As they get off the bus, Kyle tries to think of what he can do to bring Stan out of his shell. He has just one idea. It's nothing clever at all, but it's the only thing he can think of. He'll need to be brave to actually pull through with it.

They walk up the driveway to Kyle's house, and Kyle opens the door. They greet his mom and go into the kitchen. "You want a drink?" Kyle asks.

"Got any beers or whiskey?" Stan grins.

Kyle rolls his eyes. "No more alcohol for you, mister..what do you want? How about a cherry juice?" Kyle asks.

"That's fine," Stan replies, staring at Kyle while his back is turned. He looks away as soon as Kyle turns around, but Kyle secretly notices him staring. He hands him a juice pack, and they both poke their straws into it and begin to sip.

As they are sipping their juices, Kyle smiles mischievously at Stan. Stan looks confused as Kyle walks over to him and grabs his hand. "Come with me," he says as he pulls Stan towards the basement, which is currently empty and quiet. Ike is upstairs, and his mother is watching TV in the living room. This would be a good time to test out his "idea".

"What are you doing?" Stan asks nervously, as Kyle pulls him down the basement steps. With Kyle still having a grip on his hand, he follows him into the dingy laundry room in the back.

Kyle stops and lets go of his grip around Stan's hand, taking their juices and putting them on top of the washing machine. Stan looks around at the small room. "OK, you didn't answer me..what are you doing?"

"Something you're too much of a pussy to do," Kyle grins, as he gently pushes Stan against the cinder block wall and kisses him.

Stan's eyes go wide in surprise at first. Realizing that this is not a joke, he relaxes into the kiss and closes his eyes. They pull apart, and he is still having trouble processing what just happened. He stares at Kyle with adoring eyes.

"Judging by the way you didn't freak out or punch me just now, I'm guessing you really do love me when you're not drunk," Kyle grins.

Stan chuckles nervously. "Yeah..you're right. I'm a giant pussy." Now feeling braver than usual, he grabs Kyle's hand to link their fingers together, then leans in for another kiss. 

When they separate, Kyle squeezes his hand, using his other free hand to poke the tip of Stan's nose. "But I love my giant pussy," he grins.

"That sounds so wrong," Stan laughs. They both begin laughing as they stare at each other with happy eyes. "I love you too," Stan finally says, this time without his liquid courage.


End file.
